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4 Common traits of incredibly engaging people

What makes a person engaging? Charm. Confidence. Passion? Sure. But make someone feel important and you'll really capture their attention. Find out how to make people feel special and become exceptionally engaging.

Being engaging is about getting and keeping people's attention. It's about giving them something memorable and helping them be their best. Here's how to engage with people better than ever before.

1) Be there and listen

HabitsEngagingPeopleListen

Give a child your undivided attention. Listen, smile and nod as their imagination runs wild. See how happy they are? Adults are just the same - they don't forget the times when you made it all about them.

What could you do more of?

Is there a better way to make somebody feel special than saying, "I'm here, I'm all yours, and I'm fascinated by your story"? I doubt it. Switch off your phone, listen and forget about yourself for a while.

Warning: The late, great Robin Williams uses some swear words in the following clip.


2) Praise and encourage

HabitsEngagingPeoplePraise

A good 'engager' (sorry, it really should be a word) is like a good coach. They make people feel great about themselves even when things aren't going well. They help others find perspective and remember what's important.

What could you do more of?

Tell people when you've admired something about them. Encourage people to value contribution as much as success. Use 'thank you' and 'well done' liberally.


3) Create the 'us'

HabitsEngagingPeopleUs

An engagement between 2 people is an agreement to connect, to form something meaningful. We feel engaged with people when we feel like they're along for the ride with us.

What could you do more of?

Show people how they contribute beyond themselves. Connect them to the real people who care about and benefit from their efforts - to the value of what they do.

Warning: The following clip contains profanity. Apologies on behalf of Al Pacino.


4) Enjoy yourself

HabitsEngagingPeopleEnjoy

We build some of our strongest relationships during laughter and play. If you want to inspire people to do great things, let them see you enjoying what you do.

What could you do more of?

Remind others that there are exciting, rewarding times ahead - and that getting there can be heaps of fun if they want it to be. Be enthusiastic, kind, optimistic. And smile.


What do you think? Who do you find engaging and why?

Let's discuss it below.

Comments

Richard Mansbridge - 4/17/2015 9:24 PM

Engaging with emotions is so important to gaining and keeping your audience.

Story telling does this very well. At the heart of the reason is imagination.

There is wonderful 'new' area of research called 'Cognitive Poetics', (Professor Peter Stockwell is a pioneer and has a book by the same name), which explores the role of imagination in literary reading. But, don't let the sound of that put your off. It is a book with many insights for those who want to understand and engage with human imagination.


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